Post 1. Acne and Bacne

It's Sunday and I will be talking about 'ACNE'!

When hitting my teenage years and going through puberty, I suffered from a severe case of Acne. I have not plucked up the courage to put any images of my past self on here because I consider my teenage face as monstrous. (According to the doctors, my case was not as bad as others)

Nearly all teenagers suffer from acne and I can totally empathise when you say it can lower your self confidence and made you feel like never leaving the comfort of your home where no one had to see you. 

I found it nerve wrecking when meeting new people as I thought they would think I looked horrendous but I was a cocky little git during my school days. It did not get in the way of my sarcasm and cheekiness so people probably thought I was full of confidence but if only they knew. 

Unlike advanced teenagers these days, I had no idea what make-up was, which make up to use and I could not even afford cover up. (At the age of 16 I went to school wearing concealer on my eye bags which was two shades darker than my skin tone) I am not your everyday MUA.

Till this day, I still struggle to cover up my spots and marks but unlike my teenage years, the outbreak on my face has calmed down. 

With age, the spots have decreased but occasionally I do get outbreaks depending on the food I consume. I used to underestimate the power of water but I tell ya, WATER is everything!!! It helps flush out the toxins in the body which can help reduce outbreaks and makes the skin look healthier and more glowy. (Nuts and other oily foods make my skin a bit eugh but I can't resist them)

As well as acne, I suffer from Bacne - Back Acne. This means I have to constantly cover my back and wear t-shirts and jumpers that reach my neck as I do not want people sitting behind me playing dot-to-dot. This actually makes my spots worse and marks reside and do not fade as fast as it does on my face but I have no confidence to wear cool tops. Thanks to my long hair now, it is a little easier covering my back when wearing low tops. 

Acne is genetic in my family. My father had it as a teenager and so did all my siblings.

(Darn be to my fathers genes. I even inherited his stubby features such as his height, chubbiness and small but fat hands and feet.)

Left & Right side of my face on a normal day 2015.

My mother on the other hand has always had good skin (touch wood)

From the ages of 12-14, I had the worst years. My forehead, chin, around my lips, my nose, neck, the sides of my cheeks and my back were all covered in pimples, blackheads and marks. And I cannot resist but touch them. 

At the age of 14 I fell ill but this helped the clear up of my acne for a short while. After this, I started dressing more trendy and felt more comfortable in myself. But... it didn't go completely. From age 15 till now, I suffer from bacne and am still trying to clear up marks on my face. I have now discovered make up to enhance my face and cover up some marks but my application does not do justice to my face. (I stare at people in amazement when they do make up on themselves) It all fades off within a couple of hours. But I always use minimum products on my face to allow my skin to breathe.

Like many other acne sufferers I have spent over a thousand pounds on a range of products, some which have worked for a short while and some which were a total waste. Scrubs, face washes, soaps, creams, natural remedies... I've tried most of them. 

Read my next blog post next Sunday to check out which products I have used and the changes in my lifestyle and whether they helped or not. 

I will also show some of the natural remedies I have tried out in the blog post after that (and maybe some before and after pictures)

But a huge shout out to Instagram and other photo apps which have filters. (I sometimes consider myself a catfish because of this)

Follow my personal and social Instagram pages for pictures and updates.

SalmaKhatun95

SalaamSalma

It is us who have died... Poem

I am back!
I tend to do this a lot. I consecutively blog for a few weeks then I take a long ass break because I get caught up with everything around and then I make a comeback. 
For this comeback, I have a poem. 

This poem was inspired by my mother (and she doesn't even know it). 
A quick story: After my mother married my father at the age of 16 and moved to London, the younger one out of her two big brothers passed away. She received this news many days later as calling abroad was not common and letters took ages to send and receive. When she finally went back to her village a few years later, her elder brother said this. 'He has left this Dunya (world) but it is us who have died'. 
The death of my uncle left such a huge impact on people and many of them could not come to terms with his death even years later. 
With the current crises going on in the world now, I thought about writing this poem. 
It vaguely covers the crises in Nepal, Palestine, Syria, Bangladesh, American racism, Rohingya and other places in this world where these descriptions apply. 
I hope you enjoy this. 

Everytime they mentioned your death, 
it wasn't really you who died. But the world. 
You simply left this earth but it is we who had to mourn 
and endure the pain knowing you will never return. 
Everytime they mentioned your death, 
The poorer we became.
For yours was the soul infused with richness,
And when you went, the world was left in poverty.
You have had an easy escape from the torment of this horrendous world, 
leaving behind the evil bitterness.
Those of us who are alive will wake up everyday 
unable to get your image out of our minds.
How you were stuck under all that rubble 
and how you had become blind.
How you were shot when trying to go to school 
and how the phosphorus effected you and your child.
The image of you trying to swim to safety during the floods 
and you getting killed defending your religion.
Oh and that image of you being a black man one minute 
and no one but dead the next.
You may have left this world, 
and doctors may have announced the time of your death, 
But every second, it is we who are dying 
from the painful sound and scenes of your soul leaving the earth. 

By Salma Razia Khatun

Follow my personal and social Instagram pages for pictures and updates.

SalmaKhatun95

SalaamSalma

I will be posting every Sunday hopefully!!! (For the next 4-5 weeks before I go away for the summer)