Growing
up, our body changes whether we are male or female, whether we like
it or hate it, it is something we cannot change. It is the art of
nature. With this comes the awakening of our consciousness and young
people, especially teenagers become more aware of what their body
looks like. Many embrace this change and many want to make more
changes such as their height, weight and body image. Some do this the
healthy way through exercise and healthy eating and some do this the
dangerous way by developing eating disorders.
Nazia
Khatun was one of these young teenagers who disliked her appearance
but decided it was time to start making changes at the age of
seventeen. Unfortunately it was not the right way for a healthy diet.
Nazia is now a grown woman who takes pride in her appearance, walks
with a strut and has confidence in herself.
An
interview was carried out by Salma Razia Khatun where Nazia explained
her eating disorder. How and why she became bulimic and what young
people should do now for a healthy looking body.
Before
self inducing vomiting, Nazia described how her eating habits were
like. “I used to eat anything and everything. Breakfast going to
school consisted of fizzy drinks, chocolate bars, crisps. At break
time at school, I clearly remember I would eat more than the other
girls. One doughnut was never enough. Lunchtime was piled with pizza,
pasta, and whatever was available that day for school dinners. The
odd times if I had food outside for lunch it would consist of fried
chicken and chips or greasy kebabs. By 6pm, without a doubt I would
head off to the corner shops to get at least two bars of chocolates,
more crisps and fizzy drinks.”
Being
at a girls only school made Nazia feel normal and alright being
chubby. She was good at sports and felt accepted by her class friends
and it helped having a baggy uniform which covered a few pounds. But
College had changed this for her.
“I
saw skinny girls everywhere who looked pretty and their make up was
nicely done. They wore nice jeans and tops and then there was me who
was in a cap, track suit bottoms and again a baggy hoody. Of course
naturally I felt uncomfortable as I was a teenager and at that time
hormones are firing away for all reasons. I didn’t get any
attention from the boys like the other pretty girls did and a part of
me felt very out of place and not attractive all of a sudden. The
more unattractive I felt the baggier the jumpers got and every
shopping trip consisted of purchasing a cap to hide my chubby cheeks.
In essence I wanted to be thin, thin to me meant being attractive and
I will get noticed. How wrong was I back then as it lead to a whole
load of pitfalls as I grew up.
Surprisingly
enough one of my good friends was a male at this period of my life. I
clearly remember him telling me he used to purge to lose weight. He
explained to me after you eat, you just make yourself sick. I asked
how and he replied “by sticking your finger down your throat”. At
first I thought this was stupid, but weirdly enough I remember it
stayed in my head”.
Bulimia
is very common amongst females and around 5 to 15% of males suffer
from bulimia This is on the increase and more men are becoming
anorexic. Low self esteem and confidence leads to eating disorders.
“I was living with so many sisters, some who were slim and petite.
Compared to them I felt like King Kong.”
Nazia
before and after bulimia.
“Before:
I was a happy child growing up. I had no hesitation to eat anything
and everything. In fact, my parents used to tell me to control my
portion sizes and not to eat too much as they were concerned of my
size at the time of my age. Of course this gets to you a little but
when relatives used to visit and tell me I was “healthy” it used
to play in my head. All of my cousins were of decent sizes and
shapes. When you don’t know what normal is you carry on with life
as it is. I was very outgoing and always in people’s faces.
After:
I admit I became so self obsessed. That period of my life, being so
caught up with my self image was the mother of all life for me. The
more I looked in mirrors the more hate I found for myself. I loathed
my chubby face and fat body. I became very anti social and grumpy. I
found my relationship with my family becoming tense as I would argue
or snap back at even small things. Being tired, hungry and making
myself sick became addictive as I saw the weight dropping. I came
down to seven stones and I was obsessed with the weighing scales. By
now my parents went from the opposite of telling me not to eat trying
to force food down me and I would eat but they knew too well what I
was doing.”
Then
came the day when something triggered Nazia to think twice about her
self inducing vomiting.
“There
was a day where I ate fish and chips and laid down on the sofa.
Without even having to even self induce I started to vomit. With it I
noticed blood. That was the day I thought to myself this had gone too
far. I had been self inducing for almost two years in secret and this
was definitely a wake up call. It came to a point where I also
noticed that even though I was slim and was a size 10 instead of a
size 14, I wasn’t getting any opposite sex attention. So it was a
lot to do with the mind and how I perceived myself. However I went
from one addiction to another. When I discovered the gym I became
self obsessed with that and did everything wrong. I would train for
hours on end and knew absolutely nothing about exercising other than
what I learnt from magazines. I realised even when I had a six pack
and was a perfect size, I still felt I was fat in my head. My
obsession with calories and food was on an extreme level. This led to
awful Sciatica Nerve damage and a very weak back which still plays up
till this day”.
Then
and now.
“Now
I accept myself for who I am and what I am. I had to learn about self
love a lot and the power of self love and how it contributed to the
rest of my life. Even though I don’t have the six packs and do not
train as mad as I used to, I find myself more confident than ever
before. As a Trainer now, I am more clued up on how to exercise
properly and how to eat properly to main optic health. I used my body
as a form of control in the wrong way.
I
am not perfect overall and everyday we challenge ourselves to become
the best versions of ourselves, and with that comes a lot power and
wisdom knowing I had the ability to change and manifest a different
mindset to my general well being and health. I haven’t been sick in
over three years now and that comes with the knowledge of how to look
after myself.
Our
health is something we all take for granted until something happens
to us.
I
run my own business so my lifestyle is very different to the average
9-5 worker. I tend to lead a very balanced lifestyle. I have enough
time for family, friends, adventure, love, self time. Generally I
find when my health is at peak then all areas of my life is
heightened.
There
was a point when I became an amateur boxer which was very different
for me. I was a young Bangladeshi girl and at the time, it wasn't
very common for South Asian girls to take part in physical sports
like this. This was the period when my confidence was at its best and
its only now at the age of 31 I fully accept my body and am able to
thank it for everything I had put it through. Inner confidence is
very under rated, and now I have more self belief and do not follow
what the media throws at me.
Words
of wisdom and tips for the young people who want to get slimmer now.
“Avoid
reading magazines, they do not create a reality of health and
fitness. You will never be able to create the hour glass or waist
thin body as they are photo shopped. Another key thing to remember is
that no two people will ever be the same so the diet plans and
workouts outlined in magazines do not fit in for everybody. If they
were so successful we would see all females walking around with the
same body shape and if they were realistic plans, no one would fall
off the bang wagon. So listen to your body.
You
are already beautiful enough, radiant enough, smart enough so be your
own trend setter and seek advice before dieting and exercising”.
